16 Signs of a Self Absorbed Person
We all hate a person that is all about himself and cares less about others. Do you know such people? How do you identify such a person? Let us first understand what a Self Absorbed Person is –
A Self-Absorbed Person is an insecure individual who has little regard for other people’s feelings. He has a distinct and arrogant attitude, is overly focused on his own success, and often finds fault in others. Self-absorbed people are extremely introverted and lack the ability to open up and share. These characteristics can be very damaging to relationships and careers.
How to tell if you have a self-absorbed person in your life? Watch out for an air of superiority around you. If you find yourself making comparisons between yourself and others, this is your sign that you have an ego. Ego means “I am.”
If you notice yourself behaving like this, you may want to examine how much time you are spending focusing on yourself. You might even want to take a few minutes away from the computer or television and devote some time to yourself to clear your mind and give some thought to how you are causing other people to act poorly. Perhaps you would like to take a course on how to improve your self-esteem.
To deal with this behavior or the person the first thing we need to do is understand the signs of a self-absorbed person. Below are the 16 Signs of a Self-Absorbed Person.
16 Signs of a Self Absorbed Person
There are two sides to a Self-Absorbed overconfident person. One is a false reality and the other is a reality that can be challenged. To know what is what, one must first understand this characteristic. For this definition, an overconfident person believes he or she is better than others. In fact, he or she thinks they are better equipped or have the edge and can win any event or challenge.
This overconfidence often comes from a false self-image or ego. These people “think” they are very confident and seem to float through life with little regard for their surroundings. Often, they believe they know what they’re doing and are able to achieve whatever they set out to do without an action plan. Some self-absorbed people believe they can be the best and lead without respect for others. Others believe it is their destiny to lead and do whatever they want.
They tend to overvalue their own abilities and downplay the abilities of others. They believe themselves to be better than the best. The tendency to overvalue one’s abilities is where the danger truly lies.
Self-Absorbed people are so overconfident that it is nearly impossible for them to engage in small talks. They are so concerned with how they look or what they are saying that they cannot take a deep breath or even think of a question. They may resort to insults as a means of getting attention. They will usually use the language that they know nothing about.
They Reject someone else’s opinion
Does a self-absorbed person put importance on opinions? And if so, why? The answers to these questions may surprise you. Why would someone who has no interest in what other people think place more value in their own opinion than in listening to what the crowd has to say? If you want to understand such a person, these pointers would help.
First, in his mind, he thinks that his own opinion is the only correct one. That is, in his opinion, only he is right and this limited belief makes him believe that others’ opinions are wrong. This is called self-absorption. A person who values his or her opinions so much doesn’t want to hear what anyone else has to say. He’s a loner, doesn’t socialize much, and feels very comfortable with his own view on things. It’s a strange concept of self-absorption, where a person values his own opinion above other people’s.
So, when people disagree with him, he goes into a tirade, usually attacking the other party or the person who gave the opinion. The attack is usually emotional. He believes that everyone in the group agrees with his opinion, so there’s no point in listening to what anyone says. Instead, he’s ready to take up the fight personally, and usually does a good job of it. This is the behavior of a self-absorbed person who doesn’t listen to others’ opinions.
They are Highly Insecure and Usually Hide it
A self-absorbed person is highly insecure because he or she firmly believes that he is right and everyone around is totally wrong. Their feeling of insecurity and isolation is the most challenging part of dealing with their insecurities. But what makes them so insecure?
First is their feeling of being unsafe. They are afraid of themselves, their body or their environment because of their insecurities. There is something that they would want to avoid doing but they just can’t. Or perhaps, there is something that they feel would make them happy to experience but they are not sure if it would actually?
Some of the other reasons are your genes, environment, and failures. If your parents or grandparents never faced any failure or problems in life, you have the tendency to believe that you will also fail. If your parents always seemed to fail in different circumstances, you tend to believe that it can happen to you too. The only way to combat this problem is to be open to understanding that sometimes you might face a lot of failure in life. These are the few reasons why people are highly insecure due to which they become self-absorbed.
They Don’t Value Friendship Rather Use their Friends
People who don’t value your friendship in the same way that you do are not worth the time of day. They are usually self-absorbed and a drain on your energy and happiness. We think you need them in your life and they provide the spark of excitement when life is getting you down. But what do you do when they just don’t value the friendship?
People who don’t value your friendship are probably people who don’t care about you at all. You may be able to identify with this type of person. They’re insecure, and they need someone to validate their fears and needs.
They can’t connect to you on an emotional level, so they latch onto someone they perceive to be a ‘softer’ connection: a friend. If you’ve spent some time with this kind of self-absorbed person, you know they often complain about not being understood and have little respect for the opinions of others. They’re always quick to take sides and do everything they can to put you in your place.
Such a person may be afraid of rejection or afraid of being vulnerable. That’s why they never tell you what they really think. They hide their true feelings behind words and become very convincing. They never show their real emotions, so you never know what they’re feeling or thinking.
They do not possess empathy
Self-Absorbed people do not possess empathy at all. So what are the signs of a person who lacks empathy? A person who lacks empathy is like an iceberg that doesn’t easily show the bright side. Because they hide behind their feelings, they never get to show the other person what they are really feeling.
As much as empathy is essential in maintaining healthy relationships, you can also use emotional intelligence to make sure you don’t have these “icebergs” that can break over. You do this by working on understanding your emotions. But a Self-Absorbed person usually do not care about you or your emotions at all.
Empathy is key in building a solid relationship. However, people who lack this trait don’t communicate their feelings effectively, leading to arguments and hurt feelings. They avoid showing their feelings, even to those they hold dearest to them. This can lead to unhealthy relationships where there is a lack of trust and the feelings of betrayal can be very strong.
They do not care about you or your day
If you ask yourself what are the habits of people who do not care about others, you would probably get all kinds of different answers. Some people would blame their bad habits on bad luck, some would blame their bad luck on other people, while some would say that there is nothing they could do about it.
When people do not care about others, they tend to put themselves first. They will always prioritize themselves, putting themselves last even in terms of importance. As a result, others will not be treated with great respect because they will always put themselves above others.
They are highly Self-Absorbed and they are very much interested in their own happiness and welfare. They will do everything possible to make their lives better, but as a result, they forget about the welfare and happiness of others.
They are Bossy
Self-absorbed people are highly bossy which can be quite intimidating. Their high-pitched voice and gruff attitude can leave you feeling that you are being bullied. Although you may believe that you are doing nothing wrong, this may not be true. What are they?
Self-Absorbed people are naturally authoritative and they usually dictate others, as well as decisions. They will often be harsh and act like they’re doing everyone a favor by telling people what to do. They also tend to dominate in their personality and wish that everyone else is also controlling in nature and would like everybody to follow their own will and generally try to impose their rules on others.
With a mindset that says, I am the best and everyone below me, these people usually end up trying to get more authority on you which again makes them Self-Absorbed
They have the belief which says me, me, me
A self-Absorbed person is generally always talking about himself. They are termed a conversational narcissist. A person that exhibits the characteristics of a conversational narcissist is someone who is always looking for attention. There are four ways in which a conversational narcissist guarantees that they are always the center of focus:
They begin conversations in an attempt to monopolize the conversation and thereby dominate the subject. They don’t offer others a chance to talk because they always talk about themselves first and second. They interrupt others when they change topics and quickly circle back around to their problems.
Due to this belief system, they always want to talk about themselves which is a major sign of someone with a Self-Absorbed characteristic.
They Want to be the Priority
It’s a well known fact that most people don’t like dealing with people who seek attention. People who constantly want your attention, using any means necessary, are probably not the type of person you want to spend your time with anyway. Self-absorbed people often seek to become the priority.
This is because a Self-Absorbed person with this sort of attitude believes that he or she deserves something more than anyone else and he or she is better than the other person and deserves much better. These people are often jealous of the people around them.
They Set Boundaries for Others
It’s important to always keep an objective, balanced view of the other person. If you don’t do that a self-absorbed person would soon start controlling you which means setting boundaries for you.
If you are not familiar with this type of person, there are probably plenty of people like you who have been affected by them in the past. The first thing that you should probably know is what they are exactly. These are the people who make it their business to control every little thing that happens in your life. They may be your boss, an insecure romantic partner, or just a friend who tries to meddle in your life and make you do everything according to his or her whims. This is generally a sign of a Self-Absorbed Person.
This behavior is usually characterized by little or no regard for other people’s feelings and behaviors. A Self-Absorbed person tends to browbeat others into acting in ways that they deem “right,” and little consideration of how the situation would play itself out.
They Play the Blame Game
Why does a Self-Absorbed person always blame others for their mistakes and failures? It’s an unnatural response to criticism and self-pity. The root cause of this is rooted in their human nature and this is where the blaming starts and this is why they suffer from emotional imbalance and mental breakdowns.
Some of the biggest reasons that they tend to blame others is because they possess a low self-esteem and are always trying to justify why they didn’t do something right. Another major reason why they tend to blame others is because they don’t like being criticized and feel bad whenever they make mistakes.
One of the biggest problems that I see with people who always blame others is when they themselves are the ones causing the problem. For example, many of us engage in the fault game when we feel that we are being pressured into doing something by another person, company, or even our boss. In addition, many of us engage in the fault game when we feel as if our lives are constantly threatened by other disturbed characters.
These disturbed characters may include: other co-workers, a boss who doesn’t understand us, other families, significant others, and worst of all, our self-respect. The point here is a self-absorbed person is not honest with themselves and with each other about the consequences of their actions
They Always Want More Rather than Giving More
By the time we are grown up, we have come to the realization of the fact that giving more than you get is not a good idea. Giving to the wrong people can be destructive, and the receiver will resent you for it. Self-Absorbed people are of that kind that would ask for more in various ways and have no respect for favours.
To clarify, let’s say we help a person get a job, now we don’t expect them to find a job for someone else instead but we expect them to be kind to us in various ways. But a Self-Absorbed person understands no emotions of others and often ignores the favors
They think you are always available
You might have heard that being available means that you give a lot of time and attention to your significant other but this doesn’t mean that it is something good. It means that you spend too much time with them, so much time that you miss out on your own life as well. This can often do more harm than good as a Self-Absorbed person would start taking you for granted and use you as per their convenience.
They also tend to get frustrated or angry if you are genuinely busy. However, to avoid this, look for a sign to tell you whether or not you are too available is how much available you are to people. This is the hardest one to do and can be quite hard to figure out sometimes. When you are with someone and they ask you out, do not say no right away and then just pick them up later that night.
Let them come to you first, let them take care of you first, and then say yes when they ask you. This will show them that you are thinking about them and this means that they are much more likely to want to chase after you.
They never repay their favors
If you were to go and get a sticker from someone and they reciprocated and gave me another sticker, that would be a very special gift that we would appreciate. But, the more times I see this same person, the more it seems to grate on me. This is because Self-absorbed people are not aware of how important our own acts of kindness are. They do not understand that it is always nice when people go out of their way, even for a short amount of time to show you that they care.
They Manipulate Others
For many people manipulation is born out of fear, power, and insecurity. Some people just like to play the game and not think before they say something. If you have ever been around someone who is manipulative, you know what I’m talking about. For a Self-Absorbed person manipulation is the only means to get their needs met. Manipulative behavior can actually lead to serious relationships and even marriages being ruined because of it.
Sometimes people use manipulative tactics to gain control over the other person in a relationship. They will do things that will make the other person feel guilty or insecure. They will ask you to do something you don’t want to do or agree to a situation that puts them in a situation of power. You feel like there is no way to get out of this situation and that nothing can change what’s going on. This is usually when the manipulation starts.
They Enjoy Backbiting
Backbiting is often done as an act of quoting someone (i.e., “You shouldn’t criticize what other people are saying,” etc.) while the person behind the quote is not present. Thus, malicious or destructive talk is generally considered to be an underhanded form of criticism. Self-Absorbed people are usually backbiters as they are mean and vindictive, unprincipled, and spiteful.
Backbiting occurs most often when the target is an individual who is perceived to be weak, vulnerable, or easily angered. Self-Absorbed person usually uses backbiting as a perfect revenge tactic. Backbiting should have no place in polite conversation, and those who engage in it should reap the consequences of their words and actions.
How to be Deal with a Self-Absorbed Person
Dealing with a Self-Centered Person can be a daunting task at times. The truth is that many people have this problem and it does not help that many of them act on it as if they are too high school or college aged to handle.
What usually happens when dealing with someone who has a little bit of extra ego is that you begin to argue with them and sometimes even curse at them. However, fighting back will only make matters worse. Therefore, before you get into an argument with your self-absorbed partner, learn to think calmly and rationally.
You need to learn how to be mindful when you are engaged in a conversation with a person who is self-absorbed. Being mindful means paying attention to what’s happening around you and to whom you are talking. This will help you put your focus back on yourself and keep the conversation focused on yourself and the other person instead of the other person and what is being said. You can stop yourself from becoming distracted in many ways.
Practicing mindfulness also helps you avoid getting into a mode where you are so self-focused that you are not able to hear other voices or ideas clearly. This is an important quality if you have a loved one who is self-absorbed and narcissistic.
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