21 Signs to Identify a Victim Mindset

Victim Mindset is the general attitude in which people suffering from some sort of loss feel that everything is their fault and that other people are purposely trying to get rid of them. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

People who have this Mindset think they are easy to convince and manipulate. And why people suffer from a victim Mindset, which I will explain further in this article. Let me clear this for a moment. There are 2 types of people 1). Who is genuinely a victim of some sort of Trauma 2). Who acts as a Victim to gain some sort of advantage over you. This article is all about the second bit. First Let us Understand What is a Victim Mindset?

What is a Victim Mindset?


Victim Mindset is an unstable acquired character trait where a person tends to see or identify themselves as a victim of another person’s negative actions, and to act as if that were really the case even in the face of overwhelming contrary evidence.

People who suffer from a victim Mindset actually see themselves as victims and the perpetrator as someone who has wronged them. It’s almost as if they believe that the victim has been victimized because the perpetrator, in their eyes, committed a sin that can not be forgiven.

While a perpetrator may be right in certain aspects of their story, the victim may be completely false in some areas. Therefore these are the 21 signs that would help you identify a person (or yourself) with a victim Mindset. 

21 Signs to Identify a Victim Mindset

  • They have Low Confidence

Why do they have Low Confidence? To answer this question, we must look beyond the victim Mindset and look at its cause. We must understand that people with a victim Mindset have low self-confidence primarily because of a distorted view of themselves as an individual. 

They act as if they’re weak and helpless, despite you knowing that they have the skills, resources, and knowledge necessary to succeed. 

They believe that they must be victimized to get help and they don’t want to do anything they perceive as being bad. Because, as victims, they don’t like to make any changes – they just complain and blame others.

  • Not bothering about the solution

Why do people with victim’s guilt, who claim to want a solution to their problems, never bother to look for solutions themselves? Well, I’m afraid they never bothered to ask themselves the question that is at the very center of this subject, Why are people with victim’s guilt not bothered about finding solutions to their problems. Because they use their problems as the center of attraction and it fulfills their need of getting attention. 

Most of the time people do this unconsciously. Another reason why they do this is because of their limiting self-belief. They do not want to hear that they’re wrong and live in their made-up truths. 

  • No Accountability

Why do people with a victim Mindset take no responsibility for their own actions? Because people with this Mindset refuse to take responsibility for anything and everything that happens in their lives, they become the victimizers. Instead of looking at how they got into the situation or where they are today, they blame others, the government, and even God. They never take responsibility for their actions.

Their point of view of viewing things is that they only look at the consequences. Rather than thinking about what led to this, they think about why it only happens to me, and their low self-esteem kicks in rather than finding a reason behind the consequences.

  • Negative thinking

Why is it that people with a victim mindset are always Negative, pessimistic, and act as if they feel sorry for themselves, never take positive action and blame others for their woes? We all have negative traits in us, whether it is in behavior or speech, or emotions. It is our inner character that determines how we see and feel about certain situations.

However, if your victim Mindset is so negative and you are always blaming others for your woes then maybe it’s time for some self-evaluation.

This is usually a cause of low self-belief/ Moreover, they think that they don’t have control over their emotions, thoughts, and actions which leads to negative thinking.

  • Always Frustrated

Why do some people with a victim Mindset always complain and are never satisfied? The answer to this question is very simple, the complainers do not want to be free or are trying to get attention by creating problems and ranting and raving. The people with the victim Mindset are so self-absorbed they cannot see that their complaints are just that, they are complaining. 

Another reason why many people are Cranky is that they do not know how to use logical reasoning and critical thinking. They’re brainwashed with negative emotions and due to their limiting self-belief, they think that they are being logical and rational. 

  • A Feeling of Powerlessness

Here’s the reason why people with a victim Mindset feel so powerless. Most of the time they exaggerate that someone has done wrong to them, they always blame others and act like a victim. They never take the time to look at what caused this. They also try to find reasons to stay in that state because if they leave, they will lose all their attention. This kind of thinking is not only mentally exhausting, but it can also ruin one’s life.

They ignore the fact that no matter what happens to you or to someone you care about, the truth is that YOU are in charge of your life and your future.

  • They Magnify the Problems

People with a Victim Mindset see the problem as bigger than they are. To stop exaggerating a problem one must change the way that we mentally process things and start focusing on the reasons that we came into this situation in the first place. However, this is not the case with a person who has a victim Mindset, they keep on focusing on the problem instead of the reasons that caused them to get into the problem in the first place. 

They don’t understand that If they keep on doing this then they are not going to be able to get out of the rut, and the problem is going to continue to get bigger. Some people do this consciously whereas most of them do it unconsciously to seek attention.

  • They think people only want to hurt them

Why do some people with a victim Mindset think that people only want to hurt them? It could be a few different reasons. One reason could be that they believe other people are evil and do things only out of evil. 

Another reason could be that they feel people only want to hurt them because they are vulnerable. Or it might just be their over-sensitive, over-analytical, and over-sensitive minds and emotions, which lead them to believe that people only want to hurt them.

Their mind and emotions are focused on the negatives and the “what ifs” of life instead of the positives and the “what ifs” of life. When this happens, they become negative and depressed. Not only does this make them vulnerable, but also it makes them more likely to believe the worst of others.

  • They do not Consider Someone’s Opinion

Do you know why so many people with a victim Mindset do not consider someone’s opinion on a subject any more than they do the people who think for themselves? There is a reason for this. You see, A victim Mindset does not allow for any reasoning, proper or intelligent, other than the victim Mindset itself and their own personal feelings and emotions.

The reason they do not care about other people’s opinions is that they always believe the other person is wrong and have a perception that the other person may have ulterior motives. Their mind has been pre-programmed to believe what they already believe, thus, their mind cannot process another point of view.

  • They Don’t Easily Forgive

Why does it seem that people with a victim Mindset do not forgive others when they wrong them? It is obvious. They want to play as victims and get more attention. 

We all make some of the other mistakes in our life and we forgive, forget and move on. However, people with a victim mindset tend to act differently. They do not forgive because it is the soft way of dominating someone and they do it without even realizing it. They seek to play victims and get the edge that would keep making you feel guilty for a long time. 

  • They Don’t Move on

People with a victim Mindset only live in the past. Why? Because people with a victim Mindset are living in the memory of a life they call “the bad old days”. They choose to live in the memory of a life where things are either okay or the worst possible thing imaginable happened to them, and any trace of a good life has been wiped out and they cannot process that fact. 

People with a victim Mindset usually do not see any reason to go on living another day, it’s as if they are living in a dream state. They seek to use their past story to get what they want.

  • They Always Complain

We all make mistakes intentionally or unintentionally. To forgive and forget should be the idle nature of an individual but a person with a victim mindset does not forgive. Hence they keep complaining about a regular basis to make the other person feel guilty all the time. They keep complaining about a certain scenario until their needs are met,

  • They Feel Sorry for Themselves

Why do people with a victim mindset always feel sorry for themselves? It is really very simple because they have negative thoughts running through their minds regularly. 

When a person who suffers from such a Mindset wakes up in the morning and finds that he/she has been the victim of negative thoughts, then that person feels sorry for themselves and that is why they never get rid of those negative thoughts.

Another reason is that they only see the negative sides of every situation, and they fail to look at the positive sides which is why they get victimized. They never understand that no one is perfect and everyone has their own flaws

  • They Keep Repeating Tragic Stories

The people with a victim mindset tend to repeat their tragic stories for the sole purpose of getting some amount of feeling of significance. If someone you know keeps telling you the same story over and over again it may be because they want a solution to it but if someone you know tells you the story and does not show the intention to work on it then it is because they wanted sympathy and attention.

  • They Constantly Seek Attention

People with a victim mindset always seek attention because they think they won’t get any unless they’re a victim, and that’s where their survival gene enters the picture. If you’re always blaming others, blaming circumstances, or blaming anything and everything for your failures and disappointments, then you won’t have any incentive to improve yourself or change your perspective.

Their life is all about them and how they can use the power of the mind to get what they want. This is all about ego and they know how to manipulate, they are experts at getting people to do what they want. One example is when they seek attention from you, they give you false information about themselves. They will say one thing and then change the facts in the next sentence. If you ask them a question, they change the subject and pretend to be unperturbed.

  • They Live Someone Else’s Life

Life is a gift and it is up to each of us to choose the best we can for ourselves and others. But people with a Victim Mindset allow other people to determine their fate. People with a victim mindset are not able to do this because their mindset prevents them from doing anything about what is happening to them. 

A person with a mindset of victimization will always depend on others and always see other people as an authority. He will always feel other people’s superiority over anyone because he feels that everybody is strong and I am the weak one.

  • They Feel Self-Pity

People with a victim mindset only think about themselves, and hence they have trouble reaching their full potential. People with this kind of thinking habit only see their shortcomings, but don’t try and change them, or even know why they do what they do. This forces them to pity themselves. 

  • The Always Criticize

Often, I see people with a victim mindset criticize those who have the presence of mind and reason. It’s almost as if they feel threatened by something they cannot control or predict. In the same way that those with power over other people sometimes treat those without much power as if they were beneath them, the so-called victim plays the role of the abuser in every interaction they have with anyone.

  • They have a Low Self-Esteem

The reason why most victims do not find a way out is that they don’t know how to get out and because they don’t have the self-esteem to get out. A lot of times people with low self-esteem need validation, so they will do things like invalidating themselves to gain attention. They may do things like pretending to be something they are not to gain attention. In the end, most people with a victim Mindset are unhappy and have no self-worth.

  • They don’t take actions to improve their life

People with a victim mindset don’t want to improve their life. Their belief is – Why would you want to put yourself through all that pain and suffering of improvement when you can just be in your comfort zone? Their comfort zone also allows them to get a sense of significance as they play the victim role amazingly.

  • They give up easily

Why do they do it? The reason why so many people with a victim mindset give up so easily is that they are emotionally weak. That is why most people with that mindset believe they can get over being psychologically vulnerable. This weakness prevents them from facing their fears and in turn, paralyzes them from facing new challenges. 

They are victims of a mindset of “I am not good enough, I’m stupid, I’ll never make it in this business” Fear of failure keeps the people with the victim mindset in perpetual fear mode. 

How to Respond to Someone’s Victim Behavior?

  • Identify your Beliefs and Challenge Them

Learning how to identify your beliefs is the first step you need to take if you want to learn to avoid the victim mindset. Without understanding your core beliefs you will never get rid of that mindset.

You can go through life wondering where your life is going and what your purpose is if you don’t have a belief system that helps you identify the victim mindset. Learning how to do it is about finding the right beliefs and following through until you have challenged them. Once you find those beliefs that are probably forcing you towards a victim mindset the next step is to challenge them. 

These Limiting beliefs are self-inflicted traps that many people fall into throughout their lives. They spend their lives believing and doing things that will support that limiting belief. With the victim mindset, this can be traced back to childhood where we used to use it as a defense mechanism. 

This is often called “clinging to the same belief structure that has served us well up until now”. If you know those limiting beliefs are limiting your path to success, you can do something about it by learning how to replace them with new beliefs that support your goals and aspirations.

  • Take Accountability

When you identify your limiting belief you tend to get more aware of yourself and you are ready to take responsibility for your life and begin to create the changes that you need for a more meaningful life, you learn how to be in control. 

If you are feeling overwhelmed by your feelings of inadequacy over small things, you may find yourself resisting doing what needs to be done because you don’t want to blame someone else. To gain control of your emotions, you have to decide how to respond to what’s going on. One of the best ways to do this is to take responsibility for your own time.

One of the first things that you can do when you feel overwhelmed is to take a few minutes to ask yourself why you are getting frustrated. You need to identify the causes of your frustrations so that you can stop yourself before you end up blaming someone. Remember that you don’t always have to solve everything all at once. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to leave it alone until it has time to work itself out.

  • Appreciate More

The last thing you need to do is to see more of the good things around you. If you don’t take the time to notice and appreciate all the little things in your life, then how can you expect to be grateful for them?

Small moments of kindness like this won’t seem like “real” happiness until they happen more often. This is why it’s important to create a list of the many small blessings you encounter daily: to help you focus on all the wonderful things you have in your life, instead of dwelling on all the bad things. When you’re mindful of all the good things in your life, you’ll be able to live a more fulfilled life and blameless on others

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Hey, y'all I'm Faisal!!👋

I’m SO excited you’re here!  I’m super passionate about improving ourselves and the daily challenges we Millennials go through, gives me hope to change our lives for good!

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