Communication Issues & Challenges: 8 Things to Avoid!
We’ve all heard that communication is the key to healthy relationship. Be it the relationship between the parents and the children, two friends, couples or even communication problems in the workplace.
Yet, for some reason or the other we just don’t speak what we feel inside and resist effective communication.
‘Hey, you know that other day you said so and so. I kind of felt bad’ – There you go! How difficult is it to communicate that? At least you make your feelings clear. This is much better then hoping that someone recognizes you have an issue with him or her.
Still finding it difficult to express your thoughts? Below are the Top 8 reason why You (Millennial) suck at communicating your problems
1. You give Silent treatment
If you are looking to improve communication then this is the first thing to avoid. It is the most irritating and the most dangerous in any relationship. It even has the potential to scar a relationship. But hold on!! Don’t say they deserve it.
Nobody deserves a silent treatment. Everyone has the right to know what is it that they’ve done. Don’t say he or she must figure out on their own if they have brains.
At least, you should avoid Silent Treatment for your own sake because silent treatment is what I call “A Two-Sided Sword”.
Let me explain – Let’s say you do give Silent Treatment to someone and the person doesn’t notice? Is it going to hurt you more or less? Your problem is going to get solved or increase?
2. You Interpret without knowing the full context
Have you ever made a conclusion in your head before even knowing the full story? Are you sure you haven’t? Think about it.
Yes! We all did that at some point in our life. Also, let me ask you this, later on, did you feel embarrassed that it was so dumb of you to directly jump at the conclusion?
Why did you do it in the first place then?
That’s because you were asking open ended question! Hold on! You weren’t asking open ended question to the person but yourself!
It goes like ‘Why did he or she did this’ (Asking yourself) rather than ‘Why did you do it’ (Asking that person)
3. You Misunderstand
Misunderstandings happens either because of one of these two reason –
· Prior interpretation
· You’re a bad listener
We’ve discussed why you interpret without knowing the full story. But what if you’re just a bad listener? It is critical to be an active listener but How do you solve that? What makes a bad listener?
Ever heard the other person say ‘At least let me speak’, ‘Ok! Can I speak now’, ‘Listen to me’, etc. Yes, bad listening happens when you just don’t let the other person explain their actions. How do we expect the problems to solve this way?
Do you know this has the potential to create more problems than solving one? Because let’s face it! You speak, speak, speak and speak and then you speak something which has nothing to do with the actual problem but then you start speaking about the person in general.
Hence, it is said that ‘A good communicator is always a good listener’
4. You try to read their mind
This is one time where an internal communication is happening. This is almost the same as you interpret without knowing the context but in this case, you take it to the next level. Don’t grin about it!
Let me give you an example – Let’s say you had a date today. You dress up well and you’re looking forward to meet your loved one. However, the person is late. Now siting there you make up a whole story in your head that ‘Is he or she not interested in me?’, ‘Am I not significant Enough?’ etc.
How do you avoid this from happening? This would happen only if you an observing mindset rather than Presupposing mindset.
In the above case you could simply say ‘I realize you’re late for our date’ that’s observing plus it is an open-ended question and answer would actually be satisfying.
5. You wait till the problem becomes a mountain
This is what I believe that it is the source of all communication problems. You can wait for whatever reason but one motivation to clear this asap should be that it would become a bigger problem to solve later on.
I don’t know if this quote makes sense here but ‘Letting go is better then holding on’. In this case you must speak up the issue as and when it arises as the farther you delay the more it hurts you.
The reason why you do it is that you wait for the right time! The right time is always as an when it strikes your head. There can’t be a perfect moment to wait for unless you’re seeking to put them down.
6. Wrong Timings
On the above point I said there’s no perfect timing to discuss a problem with your loved one than what’s wrong timing all about? What I mean by wrong timing is there is a possibility that you might not have full knowledge about their actions or you might just make things up on your head.
In this case, it is best recommended that you wait till you know for sure that what you think is what it is then it makes sense to talk to the person and clear out your head rather than just going and speaking without having the full knowledge on the matter
7. You always want to have the upper hand
Part of having a healthy communication is that you keep your shoulders down and ears open rather than blaming and accusing. Blame and accusation shouldn’t happen if the person is your loved one.
Do you pressurize them to accept their mistake by making different points? Do you just not let them speak? How do you get in to this behavior? What is the reason?
To be straightforward if this is the case than the person you call your loved one isn’t actually the loved one. Yes, the situation might arise where you just don’t seem to have control on your words but what do you do? How do you solve this issue?
Awareness! Tell yourself that no matter how bad the conversation gets you will have an Open ear rather than a wide mouth.
8. You attack character rather than behavior
Well they say that Character and Behavior are interrelated but I would not totally agree to it unless the person keeps doing it repeatedly.
Constant behavior proves a character but if you directly attack the character on the first go than it might create more problems rather than solving one.
The attack on character comes from acting as a mind reader and then making up your own story rather than knowing the entire truth, Therefore, to avoid this you must be patient enough to know the full story from their own mouth rather then your mind or someone else’s altogether.
So that was my Top 8 reason why Millennials suck at communicating their problems. As you can see that I put more emphasis on listening as it holds completely true that listening is the most powerful tool in communication.
Let us know what you think!
Hey, y'all I'm Faisal!!👋
I’m SO excited you’re here! I’m super passionate about improving ourselves and the daily challenges we Millennials go through, gives me hope to change our lives for good!