How to Self Love – Definition, Steps and Ways to Love Yourself

Self-Love, A term that is tossed frequently in the area of Personal Development. We often here things like – “Learn to Love yourself”, “Appreciate your self”, “Know your worth”. We here it so often that it ends up creating confusion in our own head.

Although it might seem that our end goal is to Love Ourselves, it is probably not the case.

Our end goal is to feel a positive emotion in our brain and just Feel Good about it

A common misconception around is Self-Love = Freedom. This assumption is a guaranteed way towards disappointment.

Then what exactly does Self Love mean? 


Table of Content


What is Self Love – Actual Definition

Understand this, anything that we humans do is motivated by the desire to Improve our Mental State, to forget Negative Emotions and experience positivity.

Self-Love is anything that you do which brings peace to your mind and relaxes your body in the long term. Doing what is right that improves your Emotional mood is Self Love.

Therefore, Self Love is also Self Discipline. To do what is right for you is Self Discipline.

Example – If a person would like to go from Fat to Fit, He or she has negative thoughts about the current body and all the person is after the feeling of Positivity. Hence, the person uses his body and mind to obtain mental peace.

Steps to Loving Yourself

1. Jot down your Negative Emotion(s)

It’s given that you’re Anxious about self love because there is some negative emotion floating inside your head. It is just a matter of finding out.

To find out which emotion you want to change start writing about your most recent thoughts. This will bring you closure to the thought that triggered a need for self love and jot it down. It can be one reason or multiple.

2. What is your Why?

This is crucial. Finding out your Why will help you understand your emotions better and also keep you motivated in your journey. It will even help to analyze the need to change your emotions

To understand your why better, all you need to do is ask better and smart questions. Questions leads us to answer and we must be aware to ask empowering questions that will clear our why.

3. Get a Plan and Start Acting

We all know that consistent actions towards our goals gives us the result that we seek. To get results we must have an action plan. We must understand what is it that needs to be done to attain our goals.

A great way to come up with an action plan is to get a role model. A role model is someone who has obtained what we are hunting for.

After having the plan, the next step is to act upon it. Take whatever actions that are necessary to succeed in our goals in the long term

Why Self Love is the Best Love

With all the uncertainties in our lives, it is completely ok to not be perfect and self-love teaches us that. Sabotaging ourselves instead of growing does keep us in the loop of negativity. Here are some quick reasons Why Self Love is the Best Love

1. It enhances your way of living

Doing what is right in certain situations provides us with the joy that can’t be explained. With Self Love it is no different. When we do what is right to avoid a negative conflict it improves our chances to be happier and mentally healthier. Thus, improving our way of living

2. You become more competent

A person who has miserable emotions makes decisions just as miserable thus he gets more negative and gets caught up in the loop.

With the concept of Self Love, you do what is right when it is required.

When you do what is right on a consistent basis, you end up getting promising results. Thus, with promising results comes hopeful thinking which helps you compete better.

3. You feel more connected

No matter the relationship, things are going to be great because of your positive mood. A person with a complaining mood might deal with a relationship differently then a person with a brighter mood.

Hence, self love helps you build a better relationship with people around you.

4. Boost in Self Confidence

Most of us spend time learning how to be confident but what we do not spend time on is to learn how to self-love. Self love brings out the best version of you and thus the confidence booms up.

Developing confidence is not some rocket science but what does help in bringing out confidence is self Love.

5. You Act Better

Self loves help us to brighten our mood in the long term and thus with a happy mood comes happy treatment. We meet and greet people differently as self love gives fulfillment and sense of accomplishment. We act out of Love and show endless potential for improvement

What are the Ways to Practice Self Love

1. Listen to yourself

Most of us are unaware of the conversations that we have with ourself. We tend to overlook it and hence end up being on the suffering side.

 Pay attention to the inner conversations that you have. Understand what you feed your mind with and keep a note of it.

2. Appreciate Frequently

Taking ourselves for granted is the common thing that we humans do. This results in depreciation of our own self. Therefore, it is crucial to appreciate often.

You can appreciate the skills that you have over others, your special talent or just being thankful for the day. Point is to Practice it frequently

3. Ask for Help

Asking for help is often considered as a weak point in many people. For some reason they choose to suffer rather than asking for help. To help yourself you need to ask someone for a help

It can be your parents, your teacher, your friends or siblings. Just have someone who can help you with better and get what you are looking for.

4. Be Easy on yourself

Achieving something is challenging. We tend to sabotage ourselves for the things that we don’t get. It is crucial to remember for us that failures happen. Failure, not only in personal life but career as well. Failure comes in all shapes and sizes

What’s important, is for us to remember that it is a part of journey and do not take it seriously. Hence Learn and move on

5. Accept your Flaws

As we all know, Humans are born to make mistakes and learn from the experience. What we also need to know is sometimes we might lack certain skills and working on to improve ourselves should be the priority

We are not always so wonderful but life gives us that opportunity to learn and make a constant progress

Common Questions related to Self Love – FAQ

Q.1. How do I know if I am in Self Love?

If you take required actions that would benefit you in the long run than you are in Self Love

Q.2. Books about Self Love?

There is a list of books that enhances your knowledge on this topic. The list from Good housekeeping is worth a read to understand the concept deeply

Q.3. A Poem about Self Love?

The list from Read Poetry is a perfect suit for anyone who wants a quick solution on self love

Q.4. Is helping others an act of Self Love?

Yes, it is. We help people we care about. And we care for people who we love and like. Therefore, by helping them in some situation you want to change not only their state of mind but your state of mind too.

Blog Author Image

Hey, y'all I'm Faisal!!👋

I’m SO excited you’re here!  I’m super passionate about improving ourselves and the daily challenges we Millennials go through, gives me hope to change our lives for good!

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